I LOST THE QUIET — NOT MYSELF

Not necessarily did I loose my purpose, I know understand I just redefined it... It wasn't burnout, but  I was really exhausted. All because I let in too much noise.

Too much information. Too much happening. 

I Lost the Quiet — Not Myself

Sometimes the fog isn't telling you that you're lost. Sometimes it's just making it harder to hear yourself.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I thought I had lost my way. I felt too tired to care. I was seeking clarity I couldn't find. I wanted answers that were not available, and seeking more direction, and certainty about who I was becoming and what was coming next externally — all while forgetting to go within.

I did what many of us do when life gets complicated and far too noisy —  I lost my confidence.

I remember thinking, who would honestly want to listen to you Sharon, you teach this stuff and can't even get yourself out of a sticky patch, hmmm that was harsh! 

But it did not stop me searching. I tried to go deeper, only to know know I was getting further away from myself....I analysed and reflected on my actions and reactions. I questioned, and judged my life experience and treachings  — I then went looking for the next thing that might help everything make sense. 

My joy had gone. My direction was distorted. And I was feeling lost and out of touch with myself - I would even say I felt disconnected from who I was......And then, somewhere along the way, I realised something: I hadn't lost my way. I had lost the quiet. You guessed it, my inner peace and quiet was missing..... 

I was so busy doing and being for everyone else, saying yes to too many things being ask of me.

 When the quiet disappears from within, everything — and everyone — around you can become difficult to hear, align with or even make sense of....you become a human doing instead of a human being....

It took some time, but once I realised this, I eventually began reconnecting with my own inner wisdom, re-igniting my intuition, hope, and, in some instances, strengthening my boundaries, and allowing joy back in.... 

I'd felt like I'd lost my own bloody voice, and my self sabotaging began; Why should I post? Who is even listening? Who are you to be guiding others? 

Confidence slowly drifts away when the noise gets too loud, and trust me it got loud. It can get so loud that you start looking everywhere except within becuase you literally may not hink to go within... you will often go for the quick fixes; self sabotaging: over eating, drinking and not sleeping properly, then in no time you have very little silience at all beciase the time left is on your device  watching netflik or scrolling socials.

 This was the territory I was living in. Self-sabotage through lack of self-belief, and here's the funny thing…I've spent more than three decades walking this path — learning, practising, studying, teaching, facilitating and, most importantly, living it, and in what felt like an instant it was gone!

I was doing less of my intuitive development, coaching, meditation, energy work, personal development and spirituality, everything I pent years sitting beside others while they untangle the things that have become tangled inside them. Helping people find clarity when they can't see beyond the fog —  now this was me and many of my holistic friends! 

I was feeling sorry for myself so life decided I needed a few refresher courses. lol And apparently, I needed these through practical demonstrations on myself! Regardless of how many tools you have, they don't make you exempt from having a human experience —  Life still lifes. bar har har I can laugh now but it definately was no laughing matter.....the Universe is always checking what you've learned....... Sometimes gently, sometimes it feels like bricks are being thrown at you just to check in on your reactions. I was hit a number of times and it felt like it too! Doh!

Ove,r the past three years, there have been moments that stretched me, surprised me, challenged me, made me cry into my pillow and had me revisit things I thought I'd already worked through. Hmmm thank you Universe, NOT! 

My expereince wa that was a really tought lesson and expereince when you thought you were done with something! My checkpoints such as identity, self-worth, family, old sabotaging patterns, grief, change, resilience, and responsibility seemed to tip themselves all over me at once.....who was I? BAM. Got ya!

All the new things I had taught my self and learned were snapped back into the old Sharon so quick I couldn't believe it myself! thought I had changed, I thought I was a good person, I thought I had grown so much, I did not like this Sharon — I had fallen back into my old behaviours and habits - wasn't I better than this? Was I wearing a mask, I must be fake, what is happening to me?  

Often without notice. Generational or poast life trauma we bring with us or inherit without realising open themelves to you when you think you have healed.....I used to say this jouney was revolving doors; wow I defeinately learn lots about that! 

Even though I knew about this stuff, knowing it and actually experiencing it at a deeper level were two very different things. Especially when we carry what is familiar but are ignorant to it...And then the new me would pop in trying to fix something that wasn't mine to fix, oh boy ouch! That one smashed me a number of times. :(

Nope. Not yours. You just need to step back slowly, this is not yours to change, your rolw now is just to observe, take a different view and aim to see this more clearly.  Hmmm, a different perspective notive was slapped on me. 

Somewhere in all of that, I noticed something else. The fog wasn't my enemy.....I was continually bitching about the fog...nothing to see here lol  The fog as simply making everything seem and feel harder. It wasn't proof that I'd lost myself, but i definately felt like I had. The fog was providing a different perception — that distinction matters.

When we can't see clearly, we can immediately go to blame. We think it's us or anothers fault. I immediately went to: Why can't I figure this out?  Who have I become? Why am I being like this? I know this stuff — why am I struggling with this? What am I missing? What do I need to change? Where else can I find this?  So then i went straight into panic and self blame: I need to look/try harder. I need to do better, dig deeper. I need to walk my talk.....Oh boy that was self sabotaging hurt.....self abuse is another good work for it.....where had my self kindness gone, matter a fact where had my kindness gone? :(

I was embarrased to ask others but did anyway lol I wanted them to tell me what I wanted to hear, thankfully many of my loved ones including my Life Coach who was very honest, very, very kind but she held my light as I guided myself through the darkness back to the light.....I say that as my overthinking would haunt me in the early hours of each morning....

I have learned for anything to grow, we must expereince light and dark!

When we go about collecting different advice, we take what we want from it, pack some of it away for later incase we need more self sabotaging....and what we can wortk though we usually aim to let it go. And sometimes, if we're really honest, it depends on what we want to hear or feel inside at the time and how much we want to let go of becuase sometimes it feel safe to keep it.....that one was interesting....not wanting it, but not prepared to release it! 

In most instances, all I needed to do was just STOP. BE. Breathe so you can become still enough to quieten the noise to hear the inner voice within.

For me, one question has become particularly powerful: What do I already know?

Its like I was erased of all I know and my questions were only focused on What should I do now?What do they need? What will make everyone else happy? What would someone else do? What do they think of me know? OMG, how do I fix this? How do I make this go away? You idiot, why can't you figure this out?  That is harsh! 

Once i listened, I asked my, what do I already know?  I started writing and wirting my deepest darkest thoughts....the more I did the lighter it felt and I was very quickly reminded, sometimes the answer is surprisingly simple and will always come from within.... Arhhhh Deep breath!

Pause.

In sticky situations, you donlt always have to respond, don't give your power away, just say 'Excuse me, I just need to go to the loo' allow yourself some time to respond. Know you can always say: I can't respond yet, I don't have an answer for that, I do not know, I need some time to process this. all of these are okay or whatever you need to say to buy yourself time....you can also just say NO! You can choose differently. Ask yourself if it is your? Is it yours to fix or process, carry or act on? You don't have to solve the whole problem today. You don't even have to know what the answer is yet. 

Sometimes the wisest thing you can do is give yourself enough space to hear what you already know. Because amongst all that noise, there is something we can so easily forget to tap into —  our own inner compass. It usually won't shout at you. There is no road map for your complass. You aren't being evaluated on it. It's won't be invited you in because you live there. Your inner being is gentle, kind and soft. It tends to whisper.And when life becomes too loud, that whisper can be completely drowned out.

This has been my space for some time. I was so busy doing what I thought was expected, and what was actually expected, I no longer heard much else , and this is pretty much why I started building The Sanctuary. I started building a website, I was rebranding and excited, well sort of, my intentionwas to move my community over to here as I was weaning of socials.....but I had changed, my direction had changed and the website site versions just kept evolving and it became bigger than that......I am nurturing the Sanctuary just like I'm nurturing myself and my future clients....

It has taken some time because, quite honestly, I didn't have everything figured out. It's been quite the opposite. At first, I had someone else build it by the time I acted on it, It no lon ger felt like me... and then another two times i reworked my rework...Yep, apparently, I like to learn things the hard way. 😂

But seriously, The Sanctuary has been born from my own knowing of what it feels like to need somewhere to feel safe while I pause for any length of time. I wanted somewhere to put down the mental clutter, grab some ease, wipe the fog off the windscreen and just find one useful thing without having to wade through a mountain of information or jump hoops!

For me, it started with something surprisingly simple. I was tired of always needing to give my email address to get something in return. I hate checking my emails these days, i did that for over 25 years and i want to go there for important stuff not just rubbish cloggin it up! 

So that was one of the first things I built: a space you can simply enter, read, and or listen, with nothing expected of you. I am still working on the recordings, so please be patient.

The Sanctuary hasn't arrived polished or fully organised. But I needed to start somewhere - I have been brewing this too long now, and I know other people need that too. I always knew you didn't have to wait until you were perfect to put yourself out there, so here I am, raw and real!

I am ready for the If someone judging - I don't carees it, that's not my problem. lol  I'm doing my best and for me, that is what truly matters. Together we can build it along the way. You tell me what you want/need, I can build it as I definately do not assume I know it all.

And for you, you don't need the right words because words , I can change if I need too. You don't need to know every problem. You don't even need to know what you're looking for, you just need to arrive and say: Great, this is just what I need now, for me, And that's enough for now!.

🌿 So, what is The Sanctuary?

It's a living space for those moments when life feels noisy, overwhelming, confusing or uncertain — or simply when you know something needs to shift but you don't quite know what.

Inside, you'll find practical tools, reflections, stories, exercises, meditations and resources to help you pause, create space, find clarity, and take your next step.

You can explore a topic that aligns and iif not there send a feeback message, Try an exercise, give feedback if it helped — or not and we can look at that too! You can listen to something while you're making your favourite beverage or just take five quiet minutes to yourself.

Find a resource. Go deeper if you want to. Or take exactly what you need and go about your day.Our resources will be growing continiously, some don't even ask for your email, because I don't believe every doorway needs to take something from you... some are free with email and some cost a little, whatever you choose know I made them with love  - support should simply be available when you need it. There is no performance required. No judgement. No explanation.

And definitely no requirement to become someone else tomorrow or next month — we are not here to tell you who to be and we know you definately do not need fixing.

It's a safe space for you to hear yourself again.

Because you may not have lost your way either, you may simply be standing in the noisy fog.

Once you quieten the noise, the fog eventually clears, maybe not all at once, but always enough to see whats just in front of you. And to start, that can be enough. You don't need to see the whole road to take the next turn, if you go gently, enbrace to quiet and trust in your inner being, it's usually enough to hear your inner compass.

I'm pretty sure I've been given this lesson too, I don't need to have everything worked out before I open the doors, I shouldn't wait until everything is perfect, because someone may need it before then. I won't pretend, I've definately have not been serenely meditating on a mountain while life unfolds beautifully around me, although I would like to. 😂

I've simply been living the messy bits, the beautiful bits, the very dark and uncomfortable bits too.

And it's here, I've often heard myself saying overand over;  Well, apparently I've not fully learned this lesson , here we go again.......Lol.

And then something finally clicks. That aha moment. Oh. Here I am. Still learning, expereincing it, feeling into it, discovering what I've learned, and I'm even getting quicker at letting go. Perhaps that's the point. We don't arrive. We just keep learning and it's impolrtant to enjoy the jouney as we do.......

So I'm being brave and I'm officially opening the doors. Not with celebrations, just softly. honestly, a little imperfectly but very much me.......we're definately here for the noisy moments but respect the balance ot those moments you can't explain, the sounds of the birds, nature doing nature...and I am listening to the sunset sound which has allowed me to begin, everything starts and everything ends...so embrace where ever you are on your journey! Those moments when you know something has to change, but don't know where or how — the beautiful in-between spaces where the old way no longer fits, and the new way hasn't quite arrived.......

And for anyone who needs the reminder I've needed myself: You haven't necessarily lost your way, you may simply need a quiet space because underneath the noise...the overthinking...the judgement...and the opinions of others...your authentic self is still there. Your compass is still working.

 🌿 The Sanctuary doors are officially open🌿

Grab a cuppa.Come in. Have a wander. Start wherever you are.

Take what helps. Leave what doesn't.

And if all you do today is breathe a little deeper and hear yourself a little more clearly...

well, that's a pretty good place to begin.

You weren't lost.

You were noisy.

And there is a huge difference.

A little note from me

Hey you.

Yeah, beautiful you.

You're not broken.

You're not necessarily lost.

And you may not need to reinvent yourself either.

You are already enough.

When you feel this way, remind yourself that there is a very noisy world out there trying to keep you distracted.

Sometimes, you simply need to go within and find your quiet so you can hear yourself again.

And as I'm flinging open our Sanctuary doors, I'm inviting you to grab a cuppa and come in.

Have a wander. Start wherever you are. Take what helps, leave what doesn't....

Massive hugs Sharon xx

I wasn't lost. Everything was just too noisy, and there's a huge difference.

🌿 Visit The Sanctuary & The Studio: www.sharonschmidt.com.au 

Start here: https://www.sharonschmidt.com.au/start-here

he Studio: https://www.sharonschmidt.com.au/the-studio

The Library: https://www.sharonschmidt.com.au/the-library

Work with Sharon: https://www.sharonschmidt.com.au/sharon-schmidt-work-with-sharon